I once heard poems described as/living, wild things /running and almost ferocious/blazing through the earth/waiting to be caught/waiting to be told /by the right set of hands
Here
You sit in your underwear / Look in the mirror and stare straight into your own, beautiful eyes / Let your belly be soft / Try to recognize yourself and / Wonder what other people see / Is it possible to be good and great? / Is it possible to make it through the day?
Teeth Brushing
In moments of sheer and utter and often time inexplicable sadness, I usually have to force myself to do just one thing. Usually that involves and starts with getting up, moving my body, leaving my bed. This one thing can be: organizing all the shoes in the entryway, or going for a run. It can be taking a shower, because water always helps (what’s that saying about water? Something about tears, rain, and the ocean being life saving? Or maybe the saying is about salt, which would account for the ocean and the tears, but not the rain.)
Tender Hip Bones
2001 was TWENTY THREE years ago. A person born in the 2000’s could already have had a kid. What a wild thought. My grandmother’s ring in the likeness of a frog, black and white and green all over.
A Single Stem
A single stem of silver dollar eucalyptus, so green, so true. A star to light the way. Damp towels, dirty socks. Doing one thing at a time, like, actually. As in, running sans a podcast or music to try and distract my brain from the monotonous motion of one foot in front of the other.
Jan/Feb (and a little bit of March) 2023
Do I need to make peace with the fact that I am just a regular person? Or is the refusal to do that what makes people successful?
Book Review: The School for Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan
If I were a good mother, my sink would not be overflowing with dirty dishes. Laundry would not sit in the hamper for weeks, both clean and unclean. I would’ve never, ever said fuck in front of my three year old that one winter day in Chicago, who then repeated the word.
Will Willa pull a Tom?
I first noticed Willa--really noticed her--when she told Tom to fuck off. Tom! Of all people (especially in this cast of sordid characters.) Yes, lovable, puppy dog Tom with his filthy mouth and appetite for exotic birds, abusive relationships and human footstools.
Cashmere pregnancy
A cup of hot tea at 10:14pm. The stacks of color coded books. The stacks of laundry, clean and unclean. Still need to find a gynecologist, a hairdresser. Haven’t exercised in weeks. Deep, deep, deep breaths. Left an entire half pizza in the cupboard by mistake. Went to the dentist on Wednesday and cried when I got the bill; the receptionist kindly hugged me but in all honesty it was a touch too long. Falling asleep and/or waking up to thunder and rain. The allure of potted plants, the allure of other lives.
Lloyd
At least two to three times a week, Lloyd comes in for his bananas. On these nights, without fail, he shows up in the last five to ten minutes of opening hours and stays past close. Does he work until 8:30? Though he appears to be of retirement age, I don’t imagine Lloyd sits around at home too much watching tv and doing puzzles.