The Coronavirus Has Compelled Me to Write Again
Tuesday, March 17, 2020; 9:50pm
It’s hard to know where to start. As of right now, the world has essentially stopped due to the outbreak of the coronavirus. The World Health Organization, as of March 11, has declared it a worldwide pandemic. China, Italy, Spain, Japan and now parts of the US are now on lockdown. I imagine it is only a matter of time before the whole country follows suit. Businesses are closing. Schools will likely be out of session until the 2020-21 school year begins. Daily, hourly even, we are hearing new reports on rising cases and restrictions. It’s a lot to take in and process. It feels like we should be watching this in a movie, or reading about this happening in another place, in another time. I just looked back through my texts, and on January 26 is when I texted my brother “you following this coronavirus outbreak? does it worry you?” I don’t even think it was on many people’s radars at that point. But my brother replied, “yes, it’s worrisome.” And then advised me to prepare. Which I did, but only a little bit. Now, grocery stores are selling out of product and it’s spreading out of control and we are being warned that we are only days behind Italy, which is being devastated by the virus.
I have always felt an urge to document, to watch, to record. And lately, I have not been doing that. I have been busy, as we all are. But I have not made time for art, for writing, for remembrance. Now is the time to do that. It won’t be perfect or poetic. And it will likely just be for me. But I want to keep a record. Because this is like nothing I or most other people have ever experienced before. I think, in times like these, you have the inherent sense that you are literally living through history.
It feels odd and even awful to say it, but if I’m going to look for any type of silver lining through all of this uncertainty and chaos, one of those will be that the coronavirus has compelled me to write again. And I love to write.
Other silver linings include: the video footage of Italians singing from their balconies all together as they are in quarantine (it is so beautiful); texting with my family and my childhood girlfriends and telling each other to be safe and to take care of each other and we love each other; the heart shaped heirloom tomato I found at work amongst the picked over leftovers; taking more walks outside; having a job in one of the only industries that remains open and in demand. I feel for so many people who are out of work. This is and will be devastating economically.
What else do I want to remember? I want to remember the quiet in our neighborhood. The sound of birds alerting us that Spring is finally lifting her head from slumber.
I do not know what else to say. There are so many unknowns, so many questions, and yes, fear. I feel it. It is, indeed, a real thing. But so is the simple ability to remember your breath. That is real. So is love and art and kindness.
My hope is that I continue to write daily, not only about what it means to be a human in such a time as this, but also to remember the everyday pleasures and annoyances, to document what the kids are saying and what we are all feeling, to share the songs and movies and words that make me feel something, that remind me the I’m alive.
